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What To Do When Your Friend Loses a Baby

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What To Do When Your Friend Loses a Baby What To Do When Your Friend Loses a Baby

What To Do When Your Friend Loses a Baby






Hi, my name is Lindsay.
Mother’s Day is coming up and I’m thinking about this a lot because I am that friend. The one who lost a baby.
I am probably the friend who you’re tiptoeing around. I might be the friend who has become a major social weirdo and cancels plans last-minute. I am the friend who you’re not sure about inviting to a baby shower. I’m the friend who might have unfollowed you on social media when you announced that you were pregnant (read: I did. I definitely did. I just need to be sad right now.). I can’t relate to your normal-mom conversations about late-night feedings and nap schedules and which is the best jogging stroller. The truth is, I have experienced motherhood in a unique and powerful way, but I feel left out and confused about my identity as a mom.
On January 1st, 2017, in Room 44 of the NICU at Children’s Hospital, I became this friend. I held my first and only son Afton as he died in my arms. He was just one day old.

It was every bit as painful as it sounds. For those first few days after his completely unexpected premature birth and death, I was sinking, slowly sinking, and eventually I crash-landed right there on the bottom of the ocean. No light, no air – just hard, jagged rocks and one thousand pounds keeping me pinned to the bottom. As time has gone on, I have vacillated back and forth from the top of the water where I find myself for just a minute, feeling the sun and breathing in the air and noticing the color of the water and sky, to finding the weight of loss pulling me back down to the lifeless bottom again.
In sharing his birth story, many-many-many people have reached out with “me too’s.” The obvious ones are from women who have experienced similarly life-altering losses, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or premature infant loss, like my son Afton.

But you know who else has come forward" THE FRIENDS. The friends have come forward saying, “my friend, too.” And then the question that follows closely behind is: “What can I do for her" What can I do for my cousin, my sister, my friend who has lost her baby"”
If not for the help of my people – family, friends, and people that I barely know – I would still be on the bottom of the ocean today, four months later. Dear friends of moms who have lost babies: you are asking the right question. You can and will help your loved one through this.
Before you dive into my thoughts on this, will you read my disclaimers"

If you see something suggested here that you don’t think your friend would appreciate, just toss it. Grief is unique and you know your friend better than me.
This is not a list of gift ideas. Because grief is not a buy-your-friend-a-book-and-be-done-with-it kind of thing. These ideas are personal and even more meaningful than books and big-time bonus: FREE.
Because of my faith in Jesus, I have intense hope in life...


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Fuente de la noticia: pinchofyum
Fecha de publicación: 09-05-2017 21:35
visto: 6

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